I thought I would still my body
I mean cease to feel
The way my dog hid
Beneath the wheelbarrow
On his last day
I thought I would see you in my dreams
I mean a finger
Touched to a mouth
Staked in that hard place
I thought I would call my father
I mean that underneath each word
Is a window
Scratched into a wall
I remember as a child walking alone
Down the dark reservoir spillway
I mean the mud-filled sewer beneath my street
I mean depression
I remember running through school
To throw up in the bathroom
So no one could see
I mean I found my dog beneath the wheelbarrow.
I remember flying.
I remember hitting the jump with our sled too fast
Soaring over the tops of snow-dusted trees.
Then, I remember nothing, except that
Because we were flying
We never needed to turn away.