Elements to Consider When Writing a Black Poem
- after Cornelius Eady and Taylor Mali
I
there’s gotta be
a catchy opening
a combination of nouns and verbs
offensive and maybe
a little derogatory
such as
japslap
or there’s always my personal favorite
cumguzzlingutterslut
II
say things like I want to throw a bucket of kittens into a river
zip tie a cardboard box full of puppies closed and lower it into a well slowly
III
talk about the self
talk about thinking whether or not to color Santa Claus black in grade school
mention your prior relationships and how you’ll never really get over what happened with Kate
IV
drop names
fuck if they like it
they shouldn’t have gotten involved with a poet
V
the poem needs no protection
but everyone needs protection from the poem
VI
justify random acts of violence by saying
“I’m a black American poet
and I have an inability
to sustain rage”
VII
steal lines
“Life is beautiful”
Kathleen Rooney
“Moments when you hope God has selective hearing”
Avery R. Young
“My only fear of death is reincarnation”
Tupac Amaru Shakur
“This is just to say”
William Carlos Williams
VIII
respond
why would you eat the plums
that you knew I was saving for lunch
then gloat about how good they were
I think I would have noticed them missing
when I went go make my fruit salad
Bill
IX
use imagery
people here carry stones in buckets to throw at plastic houses
blue flamingos love me too
the zombie tells me “Life is beautiful”
use repetition
X
crack jokes about black people
because you’re a black poet you can make fun of black people
Example:
“My sista…orange hair, orange contact lenses, orange scarf, orange belt, shoes and bag
is not what’s hot in the street
or in the club or in your house”
Example:
“My brotha…I know you got a pair of headphones
somewhere because I nor anyone else on the train
want to hear whatever in the fuck is on your phone,
hell you don’t even wanna hear it,
that’s why you keep flipping songs so much”
XI
make fun of white people
because you’re a black poet
sorry
because you’re a black person
you can make fun of white people
Example:
“it’s too cold for flip flops honey
it’s still March”
Example:
“wes anderson?
Who the fuck is wes anderson
you haven’t seen Do the Right Thing
but I need to see Rushmore
tell you what
I bet you I know more people
who know Wes-ley Snipes
than you know that know
wes anderson”
XII
answer questions sarcastically
because you’re a black poet
you can answer questions sarcastically
“Well…I wash my hair with shampoo and water,
how did you think it happened?
Did you think in the shower I become the mystical negro
sorry
I’m not John Coffee
or Bagger Vance
or Morgan Freeman”
XIII
mention violence again in a nice voice
“Ok…I’ll mix some ground up glass in your applesauce for you grandpa”
XIV
mention childhood songs that make you happy
“This is the song that doesn’t end, yes it goes on and on my friends
some people started singing it not knowing what it was
and they’ll continue singing it forever just because” (x2)
XV
be dangerous
make the language given to you dangerous
make your voice immortal
XVI
raise hell leave
literally raise hell
XVII
bitchsmack Azazel
bitch betta have my money
bitchsmack Azazel
grab him by the throat
remind him
“I am
the best
writer
in the
world
I am a black American poet and
I have an inability to sustain rage
and I’ll be damned
if I go out the same way I came in.”