by Bruce Covey
4.527 billion years ago: Born.
3rd millennium BC: Astrology’s beginnings.
10: Celsus translates “carcinos” into the Latin “cancer.”
609: “We have measured for her mansions (to traverse) till she returns like the old (withered and curved up like a sickle) date palm.”
1504: Christopher Columbus uses a blood-red eclipse to frighten Jamaicans into feeding him and his crew.
1601: First use in the sense of “to expose to light.”
1638: “A Spaniard flies using a contraption pulled by geese.”
1743: First use of the common-shape metaphor for the buttocks.
1788: The Township of Moon is founded in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania.
1847: Dr. William Moon invents the moon alphabet.
1894: Dr. William Moon dies.
1901: In H.G. Wells’s novel, insect-like creatures called Selenites.
1917: The Chattanooga Bakery makes the first pie. “About how big?” Mr. Mitchell
1920: Self-proclaimed messiah Rev. Sun Myung Moon is born.
1923: Mina Loy publishes Lunar Baedecker [sic]. “Delirious Avenues / lit / with the
chandelier souls / of infusoria.”
1947: Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd publish Goodnight.
1955: Mooneyes is founded is Santa Fe Springs, California.
1961: Andy Williams records “Moon River,” my mother’s favorite song.
1965: I go outside in the middle of the night.
1967: “I don’t want to explain everything too clearly here.” --Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
1969: Buzz was supposed to be first, but it was easier, given their positions within
the spacecraft, for Armstrong to exit before him.
1971: Alan Shepard hits two golf balls.
1973: “The separation between religion and politics is what Satan likes most.” --
Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
1975: Dr. William Hartmann and Dr. Donald R. Davis introduce the leading modern
hypothesis for its origin.
1982: I dream.
1983: Full, on October 21; 11/20, 12/20.
1985: Divine (Harris Glen Milstead) stars in Lust in the Dust.
1987: Theo Kogan, Gina Volpe, and Sydney “Squid” Silver form The Lunachicks.
1987: I reviewed “Moonstruck” as part of a job interview.
1988: Kim Stanley Robinson publishes The Lunatics.
1989: “Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese, Gromit.”
1990: Warren throws for 527 yards against Kansas City.
1995: Blue Moon Brewery is founded.
1995: Astronomers: “The moon exists.”
1997: Lady Di dies.
1998: The Silver Moon Lounge & Restaurant is founded in Perham, MN.
2000: I read Goodnight Moon to my daughter Jing for the first time.
2001: Christopher Walken reads Goodnight Moon on the Simpsons.
2003: The amazing moldable, holdable, squishable, squashable dough that never
2005: Café Astrology’s first meeting chart.
2007: Yehuda & the kickstand cyclery.
2008: Molly’s homemade ice cream.
2008: 6/6, my father dies.
2009: Starring Sam Rockwell & Kevin Spacey
2010: An indie adventure RPG about two doctors traversing through the memories
of a dying man.
2012: Total lunar eclipse on November 13-14.
2013: Bill Nye booed in Waco for saying it reflects the sun. One woman yelled, “We
believe in God” and left with three children.