TWAS—

 

by Aaron Delee

 

 

[twuhz, twoz] n. 1. he who is groomed and doomed to wearing Abercrombie tees and Hollister tanks, when he should be shrouded beneath some sensible cardigan from Barney’s; a once-was, bopping up and down at a foam party where all the boys wonder at decay, bubbles bursting in pumped fists. 2. one of the standard times used in millennial bedrooms, based on the local date, hours after a dinner for two at a four star restaurant, revealing a landscape of wrinkles similar to a discarded shirt abandoned in the hamper. 3. a contraction, the contradiction between ancient and ageless; a Botox beefcake with Viagral virility. 4. an inevitability; when drugs are no longer just for merriment, but now a necessity to celebrate life’s every minute, to party, party, party.